Am I Going To Lose My Friends?

Am I going to lose my friends??

These few days especially after receiving a sudden blow from my clique of friends, everything seems to be so obscure to me. People, things, events and myself, I am totally lost!! I found out I had lost my self-perspective, and principle which I used to keep along with me in my routine. I never put a doubt on the principle I held for so long, nevertheless in this time, I did. I doubt for the effectiveness of the maxim that I had with me since I was a child, and I really felt discouraged when I tried to figure out the matter that confused me these days and the solutions did not come out with a good sign, I did not know myself very well.

Desperate...

Yet, I still tried my best to conceal my baffle in front of my peel group, tried hard to keep myself seems normal in front of them. Tried hard to cheer myself up!! Yeah~~indeed it worked!! As my friends brought me to One-U for a sing-out-loud event today, I put all my energy in that event, tried to sing as many songs as I can, and I really could get self-fulfillment from there even though it was just a mere short-term happiness that overwhelmed me tonight, but at least it gave me a chance to get myself out of the torment I had with me.

I am NOT disliking the things that happened on me, I am NOT!!!Perhaps, my actions showed an adverse impression of me to you that I was rejecting the world, but PLEASE...for those who really understand me, please...please get yourselves understand that I am NOT rejecting anything, I am not getting myself away from you, nether hate nor disdain you. I am just confused and perhaps I am too skeptical in my own way. I am indeed putting myself in some kind of trouble that does not necessarily affect me, yet I put myself in the agony unwittingly.

Please give me some time to make myself clear of what I want for now. Please...perhaps, if you could help me, do you mind to leave me some advise as my friends used to be?? I am gonna sort it out~~Heal myself~~

T__________________T

I am too sensitive!! I do not know why I tend to be like this once in a couple of months...MISERY...

Anyhow, I wish I could hold my friends tight with me while I am in such a toilsome dilemma. I do not want to lose any of my friends, especially those I cherish so much!! Please forgive me, my dear friends...if I had done something that hurt you so much..I swear I never have the intention to hurt you all. NEVER!!

Please try to understand me..Please~~~