Once again, I was facing with the screen in front of me, typing a letter by a letter on my blog. but this time, I am not going to talk about anything, and I had no idea on what I am going to write about. My feeling was terribly bad, I had no mood in doing anything, and I was getting frustrated and furious on the matter that happened on me today, very unpleasant issues between me and my friends...
The first case was happened during my lunch break. I and some of my friends decided to go to the market to have our lunch as the food there was cheaper than those in Asia Cafe. But, the atmosphere of that noon was rather hot and clumsy and stretched my nerves. The distance from our school to the market was quite far, and the six of us had to walk across the street, pace along the shop lot corridor before we reach the place. The food there was nice and great, the stall had provided us a lot of choice on the dishes, and we chose some of the dishes that we preferred. But then, something happened...when we almost finished our meal, one of my friends wanted to buy some raw vegetables, so that she will be able to cook in the hostel later. But I was really wondered about it, was she going to buy some vegetables and brought it to school as we will have our class very soon after the lunch?! I was thinking that it was really ridiculous!! And that was the time where some spark flicked between me and her. It was all my fault!! I can ignore the things she was doing, I can try not to show any expression on it, and i can just keep my mouth shut and say nothing on it. But I didn't do it. I done everything that I shouldn't do, and this made our relation stretching hard like a rubber band been pulled by an extremely strong forces. It was nut at all. But luckily, the condition was successfully been restored later, we didn't take the matter seriously and we merely smile and let it go. Friends again!!
But, the second case didn't heal up, it was getting worse. And it was my fault again!! This time, the character had changed to my senior. My senior was studying the same course as me in the same school and he was also my former school senior, but he was the same age as me because he passed the PTS test, straight jump over standard 5 and studied in standard 6. The conflict happened was because of my way of asking him questions. He was very unsatisfied and angered with my way of questioning. He said I was very rude during asking him questions. I was hurt, really hurt by his words. It was as sharp as a knife that penetrated through my heart, I really didn't mean to hurt him in the way of questioning, instead I treated him as a pal, a friend from the same town, same school. I didn't know why the scene can go like that, I had tried to apologize to him, but it seems to be useless. I hate myself so much, I really despise my style of questioning others, may be some of my friends also noticed this offence, but they just kept silence. I really dislike such a manner. But, I didn't know what should I do now..what should I do to restore the relationship? How do I mend my manner? I...really don't know. Maybe, I should leave him alone and give myself some time to think about it, give myself some moment to figure out the problem and give myself some more space to seek the solution. Maybe, I hope, the time can faded everything up, slowly washed away the unpleasant things that was disrupting me now. I hope and I wish...
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